2020 has been a doozy of a year! Being in the house has caused us all to be a little more reflective and conscious of who we are, how we are best contributing to our own and others lives, and where we really need to improve.
2021 is one month away and to make sure that we’re all prepared to step into the new year, I’ve created a list of things to ditch and hitch in the new year to help us prepare to transition our environments, emotions, and highest selves to the new energy the new year has to offer us!
What to ditch in 2021:
- Unhealthy relationships: we’ve been in a quarantine and social distancing for (almost) the entire year, so I get it! You’ve been bored, lonely, and in need of companionship (both platonic and romantic). However, our relationships have some of the greatest impact on how we function in the world. If you’re dealing with someone (or someones) who does not pour into you the emotional, spiritual, physical, and mental requirements you need to operate as your highest self then it’s time to ditch those relationships! We can’t get to what is for us if we hold on to attachments that do not serve us. Remember there is a difference between being alone and being lonely. It starts with your perspective. Do you really deserve to be lonely in a relationship because you feel alone sometimes?
- Unhealthy habits: cc the pandemic, again! This has been an unusual year in regards to how we interact with others, where we can and cannot go, and more! It’s been easy to get very laxed in our self-care routines and healthy habits. If you are someone who can count on both hands how many times you’ve showered in the pandemic, used your semi-luxury face wash, cleaned under your nails, or eaten a meal that didn’t come out a paper bag then this one is for you! This is most certainly not a diss, just encouragement to ditch unhealthy habits that are ultimately making your life harder than it has to be. When we allow ourselves to slip on the self-care we begin to not feel like ourselves anymore. Those feelings can bring in a flood of negative emotions and self-talk. Going into the new year we need to be feeling our best and ready to take on what’s new. You can’t do that if you don’t even feel like yourself!
- Apologizing when you’ve done nothing wrong: this is a habit that I’ve had to work on breaking myself. I’d be in the grocery store and accidentally bump into someone and say “I’m sorry” when the correct term is “excuse me.” It’s nothing wrong with admitting fault and apologizing, but not at the expense of yourself. Ditching this habit takes some discernment but it’s an important trait to ditch because it has to do with your mental strength and self-worth. You’re not a sorry person, so why are you always apologizing? Using the proper terminology in situations that may warrant you asking for some grace is important. Sorry is not always the best route to take. Work on strengthening your repertoire of terminology to use in settings where you would usually say “I’m sorry” so the next time you’re actually not sorry you’ll be ready. Remember there is a difference in remorse and simple human error.
- Remorse for saying no: No is a complete sentence that requires not further explanation. No is not a bad word! It is a response to something that you are not in agreement with. If someone presents something to you that isn’t of interest you or does not work for you, then exercise your right to say NO! Say it without a follow up apology or worry about their reaction to you saying no. You have the right to refuse things. You’re the only one who doesn’t benefit from you always agreeing to everything.
- Basing your worth on external factors: Comparison is the thief of joy and let’s be honest here, we all spend too much time in other people’s lives thanks to our handy handheld computers! However, social media and the internet isn’t going anywhere. It’s up to you to make sure you are managing your expectations and thought processes when you’re scrolling your TL. It’s, now more than ever, easy to look at other people online (or even people you know in real life) and think “I wish I had this” or “I looked like that” or “I wish I had more followers”, etc. The pandemic has caused our screen time to greatly increase and now more than ever people are utilizing social media in their daily lives. Take time to unplug and connect to yourself and others in real life. You are the most important opinion when it comes to who you are. Do more to celebrate and connect with yourself in real life.
- Only loving beauty that fits into societal standards: to piggy back off the previous item on the list, it’s also important to not look at your beauty (or anyone’s for that matter!) as “unconventional” there is no such thing as unconventional beauty. Beauty is beauty. You’re not attractive for a dark skin person, or a fat person, or a disabled person. You’re attractive because you’re attractive! It doesn’t take confidence to showcase your beauty to the world! You are not “so strong” for existing. Micro-aggressive comments like that invalidate your humanity, not just your beauty. You are here, and that means you matter no matter what skin or body you’re in!
- Needing to be right more than you need to be at peace: It’s time to lay arguing for arguments sake to rest! If you are someone that views every disagreement as a challenge then it’s time to check in with yourself and figure out why. Do you feel invalidated? Do you feel misunderstood? Do you feel that people don’t take you seriously? All valid emotions to have. However, arguing every little point isn’t going to make anyone want to a) understand where you’re coming from and b) take you seriously because every little thing causes you to go full blown litigator! Sometimes the best option isn’t the option that suites you best but the one that suites the situation best. Everything is not an attack! You can decide to drive your point home but once you do then what? What comes after “you’re right”? Sometimes that just doesn’t matter. Place more value onto the outcomes of your conversations as opposed to the moment you’re in the conversations.
- Addiction to chaos: this is a tough thing to ditch because many people don’t realize that they have a chaos addiction. However, if you’re someone who can never allow their life to be peaceful and drama free then this one is for you! Trouble does not just find you (and even if it does it still has to knock on your door to get inside!). Chaos addiction is a generational curse. If your life is chaotic then more than likely other people in your life are chaotic as well. You may have even grown up in a chaotic environment. It’s instinct to move in the world as you currently do, but it comes a time where you have to want better for yourself. No one wants to be around someone that is never at peace. Your spirit deserves rest. The people around you deserve rest. YOU deserve rest. Leave chaos in the past. Ditch it!
What to hitch in 2021:
- Healthy relationships: you deserve platonic and romantic relationships that provide you with happiness, genuine reciprocity, love, peace, and security. Hitch yourself to the right people!
- Maintaining habits that improve your life: you can’t live your best life if you’re not treating yourself right! Focus on creating and maintaining habits that keeps you functioning as your highest self!
- Choosing yourself: everyone else chooses themselves first? Join the club. We love it here!
- Healthy communication skills: be vocal about your needs, use strong verbiage when speaking to others, don’t question your voice (you have one for a reason). Use it!
- Knowing you deserve good things (with no catch!): when good thing happen to you stop looking around for the other shoe to drop! You deserve good things because you deserve good things. PERIOD.
- Radical and unapologetic self-love: beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You are the beholder! Your beauty is not debatable. It is a fact. Stamped and verified!
- REST: rest is not a luxury! Rest is a necessity and a right. Relax when you need to for as long as you need to!
- Living your best life on your own terms!: You only get one life. There are going to be many things that come against you in your lifetime. Don’t add yourself to that list! Be your biggest champion, advocate, and cheerleader! Do you!
Preparing for the new year takes longer than a month, but doing the work is the most important part of the preparation no matter how long the implementation takes. I hope this list gives you all some perspective on some areas of your life that can be improved for the new year. We all have work to do! Continuing to improve on ourselves is always a step in the right direction.